Lip Sheets

On Sundays, after I’ve completed sheet-mask time during my lengthy post-shower ablutions, I enjoy lip-sheet time, which, since they cover your lips, are a direct way of saying, “This is resting-and-not-talking time.”

Do they do anything lasting? Mmmmm. I can’t say they do. But do they do anything bad? No, they do not. And immediately afterward, lips feel very happy and hydrated.

You can’t DO anything in them but lie down because all of them (some more rapidly than others) cheerfully slide right off your face if you move. Another helpful hint: don’t let people see you in them because both you and they will laugh uncontrollably, causing the mask to slide off. This is a solo operation.

If you want to lie in bed and think and be quiet and be forced to be quiet, I recommend as a perfect addition to self-care time.

As an aside, I keep all my sheet masks and lip sheets in the fridge so they’re nice and cool when I put them on.

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“Power Lip Volume upholstery”

PILATEN Pink Collagen Crystal Lip Mask Membrane Moisturizing, MLMSY/ GOURDOLL Lips Membrane Moisturizing Lip Film Paste Lip Abundance Pink, BIOAQUA Lip Plumper Collagen Nourishing Crystal Lip Mask, and I assume others—I’m not going to research further—appear to be a similar/the same product with different brand names.

The “film paste lip abundance” consistency is very, very watery. The mask sits on a lip-shaped tray in the packaging, presumably to stay in the liquid until you slide it out and put it on, but it doesn’t really work that way. They sort of slide down to puddle at the bottom, and you have to fish the tray out, then the mask.

Which does give it a chance to sit in the liquid…

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blueberries and chicks!

I really liked the TONYMOLY Kiss Kiss Lovely Lip Patch when it was reasonably priced and not an insane $4.50 apiece. The patch and moisturizer are both thicker and stay on better, but it doesn’t really seem to do anything more than the “lip volume upholstery,” and is insanely more expensive. It’s in the luxury beauty section of Amazon now, which is sort of pushing it, but…I’m definitely not paying that much for it, so I guess fair.

Screen Shot 2018-03-09 at 12.46.40 PM
What even is this shape for. Who knows.

Clearly, I got the DreamMi Gold Bio-Collagen Gel Lip Pad Pads Mask Masks because of their incredible name, very cheap price, and not terrible rating. These pad pads mask masks are not my fave. The end.

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The Holika Holika Golden Monkey Glamour Lip 3-Step Kit is SO fun. It’s more expensive than the others (minus the TONYMOLY), but it’s three steps! First, you exfoliate with a little pad, then you put on a sheet similar to all the other pink ones, and then you apply a very sweet honey gloss (I accidentally licked a little of it). There’s more than one application of gloss in the packet, but should I turn into a person who has half-used packets in a baggie? Yes. I probably should.


  1. How would you NOT lick a little of the Golden Monkey 3-step lip kit? Anyway – I will try it. But I will not try the TONYMOLY because their ego has gotten too big.


  2. I had to look up what “abultion” meant….did you know that word off the top of your head or did you have to look it up? I had never heard that word before. I give this post a 10/10.


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